New 1's
From 64wikis
The New 1's are an extensive collection of inside jokes. Ranging from the silly to the absurd, they are frequently referenced by 64tacos users.
Contents |
History
The first jokes were created sometime in the late 80's by Shedubeard and Montel when they were in elementry school. Montel first began to document them during highschool in the mid 90's and has periodically added to them ever since. Although Montel is the official scribe for the New 1's, Stemshul also has a chapter in the New 1's.
Format
The New 1's have been scribed on nearly a dozen(?) sheets of notebook paper. Although originally written in lead, other instruments (such as crayons of various colors) have been used in lieu of baby arms.
Usage
Most situations, especially comic ones, have at least one New 1 which should be quoted to add humor to the moment. Often an unprovoked reference ("out of nowhere") to a New 1 leads to the next New 1 down the list; thus a sequence of New 1's are spouted off by all present.
Complete List
The New 1's are generally listed in the order they were created. The official scribe has been known to occasionally add or modify existing entries as he sees fit.
Page 1
0. New 1's Andy
1. Clable
2. Sheit (shit)
3. "By the time your children are fit to live with their living with some one else"
4. Face
5. Odda
6. "The SNAP"
7. Dung
8. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
9. Shedu
10. horning
11. Reese - Jimmy Reese
12. Chits
13. McGregor
14. Sphinx
15. Stu
16. Soil
17. Strate up
18. Chillin Elves
19. Ahhh Neil
20. (Spock) - Bishop
21. Kracker Stupid Kracker (Ken)
22. "Ahhh the wood"
23. Bone
24. Biffy
25. Raw (Neils feet)
26. SPiffy
27. Bin
28. Peef
29. Benjuice
30. Ballwinder
31. Penis scissors
Page 2
32. Chink
33. Cornelius
34. Herbie goes Bananas
35. The gum
36. Moon Pies
37. Captain Jack Pasty with Turkey
38. harty
39. "You damn Fool
40. the gun - that Snaped
41. Bryces sperm
42. Rumcake
43. michelle's Jelly
44. chichiburu
45. "I Kimmed"
46. "My Bot"
47. Vinton - a pollocks penis (derived from the Latin word)
48. Kreist KAat Pfchishe Maan
49. Herm
50. Gibby boy
51. Spanky Spangler
52. "Neil and Bob" - ha-ha Kreist
53. Femur snapings
54. "the pop"
55. the lead in Neils hand - (idiot)
56. Norfair
57. Chodes, Chodies
58. Brote
59. Brit
60. Brat
61. Broty
62. "more Shitty ass music from Kreist
63. Slip your Dick in the Couch
Page3
64. "Shit all over the DM's seat"
65. Titty Boy - (DAN)
66. Critter
67. Richard's leg
68. Shocker
69. Polio
70. Bean
71. Dinty Moore
72. Mr Burger - (Neils Shitty Job)
73. Don Burger
74. Don Brim
75. Don Brink
76. Don Bunce
77. Don Won
78 1/2. Don Wing
Don Dink
78. Don Fehr
79. Loche
80. Anti freeze and micromachines
81. The SPlit
82. Ashon
83. Slaaab
84. Garymondey
85. Jolowed
86. Jysko
87. Smythers
88. Bink
89. Ahh Mr Anderson
90. Glenn
91. Gabe
92. Fuct
93. RiPP
94. gig
95. Neils sort and wash laundry shit
96. Mitch
97. highway fox
Page 4
98. "The piss on the pool table"
99. hee hee hee - shutup
100. hee hee hee hee h... < crescendo greater
101. " " " " > smaller
102. Deoxyribonucleic acid
103. The eggo Box
104. the Pickles
105. I wanna break Danes bike - syyike and ride away - I wanna break Daanes Bike
106. Cumming
107. Are Cans
108. Canzis - (Kansas)
109. spew
110. Sprik and Anderson
111. Keller Keller Kreager
112. Andy
113. 452-8294
114. 1-800 Eckrich
115. You and I announcment
116. haagar (old man)
117. "Gonna Get my Magnum"
118. Chad
119. Jacob
120. Mr McComb
121. Mr. Pectus
122. Cactus Shit (ow! that would hurt)
123. Ah Neil the God damn Beer got stuck in the G damn wood and Now theres a hole in it now.
124. Chewey
125. Hidabed
126. "hack your own brain"
Page 5
127. Molasis
128. Chiz
129. vasdeferens
130. Reverend Biotch
131. Hicks
132. Cobbling
133. Norm
134. Stubby toes
135. Dog Pfeish
136. Banded Beard
137. Stimp
138. Kennel's Pukey beard
139. Bore
140. gladius
141. broth
142. lookylaley
143. Hicks
144. gladius
145. Jack Nichols
146. 1 molbowo light
147. daddy's gonna pay for your crashed car
148. The toilet paper in Neils car.
149. Not a whole lot but some heh-Khem
150. The Mother lode
151. Adder
158. Aunt Jemima
159. Di Di Di Di Did ya have a good day at school
160. Whatever happened to Baby Jane
161. Boal (Bowl)
162. IF ITS Already ready All ready Already All ready but if its All ready then its already ready all ready ready Already... allright then
Page 6
163. Wheres the sky?
164. Martha Stewart Living.
165. Streeter
166. Feeshes Scraped fin
167. Boawn
168. Neil Boned her
169. Mr. Styles Denny's retard
170. Mr Macomb - smoked pot with h.s. kids
171. Aleta
172. Larry
173. Withdrawl technique.
174. Boad my leg
175. Neils Greatland Pants
176. yeah it aint
177. The Shedus are preparing for the prom
178. heck yeah, hell yeah FUCK Yeah
179. blanketering
180. Knapsack
181. socrates
182. My mustache smells like CABAGE!
183. re-port, reeport, report
184. Bloodpool
185. Act Raiser
186. Bernard (Streeter)
187. Whip it out in the back (no man you gotta)
188. Krabs
189. skaber
190. Gordy from (Star treck) pronounced Jordy
191. Trek
192. Dan's Stubby toe that snapped on Larry's Damn stick that boned!
Page 7
193. -poonany (winnie the pooh) (poos nanny)
194. Ahhhhh the electromagnetic strips ya know the video tape will deteriate the electromagnetic fields effect our home videos. AHH ya know the colors bleed over many years my walls are only 1/8 inch thick and then there's only a 2 by 4 behind that
195. Dan Steaked his stubby toe on Larry's Damn stakce
196. Bill Sheldon is a shedu, Billll sheldon is a shedu.
197. Oxford - 94 cent notecards (notecards that were not opened in mel's trash)
198. Ahehlle >
199. Poop stains in Neils Greatland Pants
200. Larry notes (refer to #194)
201. Montel's fucked up laugh
202. Dishout for Halloween RETARDS (see #169)
203. NOOOOO.....(It snapped Shit it busted)
204. Andross
205. Larry in his underwear.
206. Grits
207. Briech Fuzz
208. Neil's razorburned beveled head.
209. (Larry Notes) - Ya know, if you set the switch all the way to the left your fucked - no your just fucked you can't take the dashboard apart you just cant.
Page 8
210. Poly morph, petrification
211. Grow a Bernard
212. PRE-BEnt (The microwave Bacon)
213. I'm GONNA MELLLON
214. He ATE the BUGS (critter)
215. Dan's sequesterd toes
216. Top Soil in Neils spiked GO-T (see #211)
217. It was actually Mr Thompson (Don't refer to # 1,7,D)
218. Blew Rhin0 (like Neil would put it)
219. Garret
220. Spencer (spence)
221. Corckys gitch
222. BarnaBUS
223. I'm Baffled (see the Quote in #218)
224. I worked tripple ahh not modivated ahh worked fuckin 64 hours in 2 days & now I gotta work and shit excuse me if im ornary but... (Chris Notes)
225. Montel Notes (see 224)
226. the Dave Chapter (see 224-226)
227. Barret
228. Cake that shit in there (tapioca pudding)
152. My fuck up (refer to #'s 152-157)
153. the piss on the pool table
154. Baargabus
155. Bread Retards
156. BAT CHILD FOUND IN CAVE!
Page 9
157. Aleta downstairs sowing with Lyn nBates' glasses.
229. # two twenty Nine
230. Its more whippy (the tapioca pudding
231. Rice Pudding
232. Larry's logic
233. extrademensional space
234. Melfs Minute (as in time ) Meteors (see #218 the way Neal would say it)
235. BooooooooB HUG
236. Ghaeanchk it from La rry (man you gotta)
237. Tom
238. Dwaane
239. Dikk
240. The elekant noibles are all chattering giddily
241. TitFest
242. Fisher (Kreast)
243. De breast
244. Theres pebbles under that shit
245. Burn nerd
246. I Bot it
247. Chafe
248. Dyson
249. Dont cry over spilt milk
250. Louis Rich
261. Jobbely
262. Gondy
263. I Popped the fisher
264. what was the 1 I made a long time ago?
265. the HOPE NETWORK COIT
265. Coit (Pronounced colt) as neil woul say it
266. actually it was colt (pronounced coit) as neil would say it
267. Hot wings (Buffalo chips)
Page 10
269. THE WALL
270. Stick here in a dreadlock (as neil would put it
271. Big Fella
272. Neil bitchin about his scraped computer
273. Pasties (as neil would put it was actually Pastries)
274. Kasey Stengalls
275. It all started with blue rhin0 =>(as neil would put it
276. Data
277. Babylon 5
278. Deep Face 9
279. The release point of the sand mold
280. Bile
281. Mayhow
282. SnhaaPS as neil would put it
283. wayne getting a fat girl pregnant and cumming in her 20 times
284. Neils receding hair
285. Neil pissing on the bathroom floor without knowing it
286. Neil Drunk in General
287. I'm not going over there, Bryces Sperm is over there
288. Conners Cumming on Clayton but Clayton is Conner
289. Loc Phan
290. Vinh Tran
291. Mi Li
292. Dwight - prounounced Da White
293. Justin -that fagot
294. Mr Brown - Ah Ah Ah Ah
295. Dan's pre-bent microwave toes
Page 11
296. Your fucked your just fucked the led on the walls when burnt turn into Sianide Gas, your fucked theres no way out. theres soooo much gas I mean your fucked, just fucked. way to much crystalization. Way to much.
297. Its not the flames that kill ya. Its the Sianide Gas. I mean you can be sitting there at 72 degrees which is room temperature and the nest minute it could be 2,000 degrees. Neil, theres no fire exit in your house. You nee dto get as close as you can away from the Sianide Gas because the lead will deteriorate and butn into a multiple component called Sianide gas. I mean your just fucked, theres noway out. NO WAY OUT - NO WAY OUT
298. was it 4 centuries or for centuries as neil would put it
299. STASIS
300. Spanky's pepperoni pizza
301. Josh's Kreases
302. Butter feash
303. Its like a Kora(Larry)
304. Butterboom Buta feash
305. Behrends Hendrick Stuit!
306. Waynes caved in roof in his Coit
307. RC doesnt grow on trees. (as josh would say it)
308. Aleta's Fuck up - Josh got a fucked up Infamous Pachzai shirt he's screwed.
309. Dan's elastic ears
310. Roy Wallace
Page 12
311. The SNAP Diagram
312. (Larry Notes) Neil your not hitting the the walls or anything?
313. Where are the rods (Rold Gold Pretzels)
314. Look at all these new ones
315. Chancellor
316. Counselor as neil would say it (refer to #315)
317. Chasms (cazams as neil would say it)
318. Montell bitching about making new ones
319. Stumpy Pallooza
320. Green lights will killya (not red ones) - Larry notes
321. Neil's Dim lighted basement
322. I need an Asprin or actually two
323. feashes porage
324. candy making
325. You'll never know!!!
326. feash and cheaps
327. Bad Andy Good Pizza
328. Ted rubbed his balls on Larry's wood
Page 13
